New Swingers Personals: A Guide for Starting Out

Thinking about swinging but not sure where to start? You're not alone. Every swinger was new once, and most remember how nervous and excited they felt the first time they set up a profile. This guide walks you through the practical side of starting out with swingers personals, from your profile to your first meet.

Click here for free access all Contacts

Before you join: talk it through

If you're a couple, the most important step happens before you go anywhere near a website. Talk openly about why you want to try swinging, what you'd both like to explore and what's off limits. You both need to want this. Our advice for new swinging couples covers this in more detail, and our swinging tips and terms explain what soft swinging, full swap and closed swinging mean.

Setting up your profile

Your profile is the first thing other swingers see, so keep it honest and clear. Say whether you're a couple, a single woman or a single man, roughly where you are, and what you're looking for. Mention whether you can host or would rather travel, and whether you're after soft swaps, full swaps, threesomes or just a social meet to start with. Being upfront about what's off limits saves everyone time.

Choosing your photos

Profiles with photos get far more attention, but you stay in control of what you share. A clear, recent photo shows people who they'll be meeting, and you don't have to show your face if you'd rather stay discreet. Check the background before you upload anything: house numbers, work uniforms or a recognisable view can give away more than you intend.

Writing your personal ad

Give your ad an eye-catching heading that says who you are and where, such as "Friendly Hampshire couple, new to swinging". Then keep the rest short, warm and specific. A few lines about your personalities, what you enjoy and the kind of people you'd like to meet will get better replies than a long list of rules.

Searching and sending your first messages

Search for swingers near you and take time to read their profiles properly. When you message, mention something from their profile so they know you've read it, and if you're writing to a couple, write to both of them. Don't send the same message to everyone, and don't be put off if not everyone replies; it's normal, and the right people will.

Your first meet

Most swingers meet socially first, for a drink somewhere public, with no expectation of anything more. It's a chance to see whether everyone gets on. Agree beforehand what you're both comfortable with, have a simple signal for "let's go home", go easy on the alcohol, and let a friend know where you are if you're meeting someone new. If it doesn't feel right, say thank you and leave; nobody will mind.

Swinging etiquette

The golden rule is that no means no, every time, with no need for a reason. Respect other people's limits and the rules of any party or host. Use condoms with new partners. Keep what happens discreet: don't share other members' photos or details. And whatever happens, be kind; the swinging scene is smaller than you think.

After your first meet

Talk about it together afterwards: what you enjoyed, what you'd change and whether you'd like to meet again. Some couples feel a rush of excitement, others a few unexpected nerves; both are normal. Take your time before the next meet, and only go further when you're both ready.

Find swingers near you

Ready to start? Browse local UK swingers, see free swinger ads, or find your area on our swingers map, from Hampshire and Dorset to Kent and Essex. And if you'd like to read how other couples got on, try our first-time swingers story.

Every swinger was new once. Join free and start your adventure today!

Sign Up for Free! Click here